These sayings were collected from many different sources, including my own memory of hearing them spoken. They are not all specifically boating related but all are prophetic or funny. As Shakespeare says in King Lear: “Many a true word hath been spoken in jest.” They also aren't in any particular order, except the first three that are my personal favorites. I have included the author's name where it was attributed or published, but I can't be certain of many either. Enjoy…

The boat DIYer’s lament, “So many projects, so little time, so little money!”

If it ain’t broke it will be when I fix it.

My boat is like me, people look and say "pretty good shape for its age."

If you didn't have the time or money to do it right the first time, when will you get the time or money to fix it properly?

I spent most of my money on booze, broads and boats, the rest I wasted. Elmore Leonard.

Jobless, houseless, clueless, living on a boat and cruising around somewhere.

Having a yacht is reason for being more cheerful than most. Kurt Vonnegut.

It's what you learn after you know it all that counts.

Some of the best times of my life were spent on a boat, it just took a long time to realize it.

A house is but a boat, so poorly built and so firmly aground no one would think to try and refloat it.

The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.

Special knowledge can be a terrible disadvantage if it leads you too far along a path that you cannot explain anymore. Frank Herbert Dune.

That hysterical laughter you hear as you sail away in your "new" boat, is the seller.

Slightest puff is all it takes and we are gone, over the horizon, to whatever lies beyond. Sailing, sailing on.

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man. George Bernard Shaw.

Wouldst thou’, so the helmsman answered, learn the secret of the sea? Only those who brave its dangers comprehend its mystery. Henry W. Longfellow.

Sailboats shouldn't have schedules, only destinations.

Money can't buy happiness but it will buy you a boat, which is pretty much the same thing.

Cruising is entirely about showing up, in boat shoes.

First rule of yachting: When a collision is unavoidable aim for something cheap.

It is not so much for its beauty that the sea makes a claim upon men's hearts, as for that subtle something, that quality of air, that emanation from the waves that so wonderfully renews a weary spirit.

You can sail anywhere on the planet and never be more than seven miles from land. The problem is, in some places it is straight down.

Who scorns the calm has forgotten the storm.

Calendars can be one of the most dangerous things you can have on a small boat.

One should try to die young, but as old as possible.

Simplicity made the boat a pleasure to sail.

Those who say it can't be done are usually interrupted by others doing it.

All men dream but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find it was vanity. But the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes to make them possible. T.E. Lawrence, (of Arabia).

Rust is the poor man's Loctite.

The water is always bluer on the other side of the ocean.

The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever.

I had resolved on a voyage around the world, and as the wind on the morning of April 24 1895 was fair, at noon I weighed anchor. Joshua Slocum.

It's scary to have a 30 foot wave chasing you, and if you are steering you don't look back. The crew looks back for you and you watch their faces. When they look straight up then get ready!  Magnus Olsson.

A bad day sailing is a hundred times better than a good day at work

A man can pretend to be a lot of things in this world; but he can only pretend to be a sailor for as long as it takes to clear the harbour mouth! Bernard Hayman.

On a day when the wind is perfect, the sail just needs to open and the world is full of beauty.

He that will not sail till all dangers are over must never put to sea. Thomas Fuller.

The sea is not dangerous, so long as you remember how dangerous it can be.

There is nothing absolutely nothing, half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats." Kenneth Grahame.

A good seaman weathers the storm he cannot avoid, and avoids the storm he cannot weather.

Any damn fool can navigate the world sober. It take a really good sailor to do it drunk. Sir Francis Chichester.

The origin or the British term “tow rag,” meaning a scruffy urchin comes from the sea. Everyone knows the heads were holes in the bow of a sailing ship for you-know-what. However, since toilet roll was not available then, a rag was tied to a rope and hung over the side into the bow wave. After use it was cast back overboard and hopefully cleaned by the sea for the next user.


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